I’m doing it

I am an introvert with depression and anxiety. This usually means I am out of my comfort zone 90% of the day. Okay more like 100%. For years I would take the easy way out, cut off relationships, hide in my room, and struggle with getting through normal everyday tasks.

That hasn’t been the case for the past year. I’ve been pushing myself a lot harder. I started my own business. I started volunteering at church. I am a youth group leader. I’ve started and cultivated countless new friendships.

And it’s great, it really is.

But that doesn’t mean it’s my new comfort zone. It’s definitely not. I struggle with putting on that brave face and talking in front of people. I still struggle with showering. With getting out of bed. With fatigue. With doing laundry. That doesn’t mean I don’t do it, it just means it’s hard and if I took the easy way out in each of these situations I would probably be quietly crying in my dark room, or sleeping every second I’m not at work.

It’s difficult. But nothing worth having ever comes easy. And the Lord doesn’t call us to give in and take it easy, He doesn’t call us to hide in the corner or be wall flowers. He doesn’t call us to spend countless hours curled up in our beds because reality is terrifying. No. He calls us to be fishers of men. To go out into the world and make friends. Make disciples. Make followers of Christ. Be Christ to everyone we meet. Be loving and open and compassionate. I can’t do any of those things if I’m allowing depression, anxiety, and my habitual introvert ways to dictate my life.

Casey Neistat said do what you can’t. Well here’s me doing what I can’t. What I told myself for years I couldn’t do. I’m doing it.

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