An Inevitable Ending

The Summer of 2013, I interviewed for a family with two kids, a boy and a girl, and we played the game Headbandz. I still remember leaving that interview feeling good. Feeling like I fit in. It was a great feeling. I got the job.

When you start you don’t think about the inevitable end. The end is too far away to think about. You’re only thinking about the current moments that are right in front of you. The moments filled with the ups and downs of homework help. The moments where we create a new game to play while running around the house. The moments of snuggle time with popcorn while we watch the same episode of “insert Nickelodeon show here”. Those are the moments thought about.

I am so grateful for the years spent with this family. I am grateful for everything I have learned. I look back on these five years and I remember all the different paths I was on trying to figure out life, but the kids were always the ones who kept life interesting. Good interesting, never a boring interesting.

The kids are now grown, one is entering high school and the other one is entering middle school. The one is towering over me in height, and the other one is right at my chin. It’s hard to remember how little they were not that long ago. Currently the bitter is outweighing the sweet. And the tears are in abundance.

I know, though, that this is a family that will never leave my life. They are the kind of people who stick. And that is what gives me hope that I won’t break down into an absolute mess of tears when they start school in the fall. I am looking forward to taking them out for ice cream to catch up in the future. Or just stopping by to visit and receive big kisses from the dogs I am going to miss so very much.

So this inevitable end, the end I was reminded of at the start of the summer, it is coming far too fast. It isn’t taking it’s time like I’d hoped it would. This new chapter of my life is approaching and it’s time for me to grow up too.

I’ve wanted to be a lot of things in life. But being a nanny was by far my most favorite thing I had the opportunity to be. It was being a best friend and big sister but with structure and boundaries and incredible teaching moments. It was getting to create games and sing crazy songs that I never would have come up with if I became a doctor or a psychiatrist. It was going on adventures to the beach and amusement parks or even to the park down the road and calling it our kingdom. It was building structurally unsound forts and taking naps on the floor. It was creating pretend businesses with fake money and bank accounts. It was chalk towns on the driveway that took hours to create. It was teaching them how to make bread, pasta, and sauces. It was so many wonderful things, so many creative moments, so many fun filled days. It was also frustrating moments, moments filled with frustration and chaos. But those moments instilled patience and growth and I wouldn’t change these past five years for the world.

I’m going to miss it. These moments. These kids. This family. I’m going to miss everything about it.

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